Let's Talk

Let's talk about accountability. First, let's break down the word account- ability. If you look at the first part of the word account, I'm sure the first thing that enters into your mind is something like a bank account. Of course a bank account is simply a ledger or list of money withdrawals and deposits, and this can be the same if you were to keep a daily or weekly account at work. It would merely be a list of tasks accomplishments or lack thereof during the period covered. The second part of the word is ability, which simply means to be able to do something. When you put these two words together you form the word accountability and bring a full meaning of, to be able to give a list of your actions. This is the key to sucess in overcoming an addiction.

If you are struggling with an addiction, whether it be drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling or whatever, you must first acknowledge that you cannot trust yourself. This may seem absurd, but if you have gotten to the point in your life where you recognize that your activity has ceased to be a once in awhile event or even a merely social event, but has moved on to a compulsion or need, then you are no longer in control of it. It is, in fact, in control of you and thus you are not able to trust yourself to stop it. If you are in this position and you want to change (the key word being want), then you must make yourself accountable to someone. You need to find a person that is close to you. This can be your wife, girlfriend, family member, friend, pastor, anyone that you can trust with confidentiality. Then, you should set up a time to meet with them and tell them your struggles. this can be embarassing and hard to do, but it is ESSENTIAL! After your meeting, let this person know that you would like them to be your accountability partner and, if they agree, you would like to meet at least once a week. During these meetings you should discuss your struggles, failures and successes in regards to your addiction. This partner should be willing to ask tough questions that you must answer. In doing this, you will grow closer with each other and also take the bulk of the responsibility out of your hands.

You see, if you are trusting that you alone are going to be able to swear off drinking or anything else you struggle with you will fail. This seems defeatist, but trust me I know. It might work for a week or two, but the desire will be too strong for you. If you have someone else that you know is going to be checking on you and that you can call if you are faced with an immediate craving, to help you, then you will be more inclined to abstain. This not only gives you the desire to prove to someone else you can overcome but it also give you the reassurance that you are not in the battle alone.Take heart, I have been and still am, where you are. This is not an war you cannot win. You can be an overcomer, like millions before you. You just have to be willing to work for it.

Clark