The Struggle of Sobriety

Recently I was phoned by an old friend; a friend I haven't seen or heard from in a long time. It was great to hear from him and speak with him. During our conversation it came out that he had become a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and had just celebrated his 2 year mark of sobriety. This is a wonderful thing and I am very proud of him. This got me to thinking, though about the nature of the struggle an addict goes through in remaining sober. You see, for me, August marked my 2 year date of "sobriety" as it were, and while I can't speak for anyone else, it is a struggle some days. I find that there are moments where an urge is so great I thank the Lord that so many safe guards have been placed over me. If it weren't for those self imposed precautions, I most likely would falter or fail. Experiencing these battles that, it seems, all recovering addicts go through has opened my eyes to what I believe to be an essential aspect of recovery. That aspect can be summed up with the question, "What are you staying sober for?"

I want you to consider that for a moment and I mean really consider it. Why are you fighting? Why are you striving to stay free of your addiction? Is it for yourself? Do you strive to overcome because of the pain or suffering it has caused you in the past? Do you fight for your wife or children? Maybe this addiction has caused unneccessary suffering for them as well. Do you stay sober for your job? Is losing yet another job too much to bear for you? It is important to identify the reason for you to "get clean" so to speak. Because, if you do not have a definitive reason for your sobriety it will make the hard times much harder and maybe even impossible.

There is, however, another side to this. What do you do if your reason for staying sober fails you? what happens if you are staying sober for your job, but through no fault of your own you lose your job? What if you are staying sober for your children, but they end up underachieving or growing up to be less than you expect? This may not resound with everyone that reads this, but I will stand by what I say. If you hold your reason for being to be a person or career or lifestyle, it will undoubtedly fail you at some point. People fail, that is the nature of being human and if you are not prepared for that, it can devastate your own feeeling of self worth and in turn could cause you to relapse.

So what is the point then? I suppose the point lies in my reason for remaining "clean". This may sound foolish to some of you, but my reason for not relapsing is not my family, my friends, or my job. Though all those things would be deserving reasons they are not mine. I remain clean for my God. I remain clean to preserve my witness for Jesus Christ. He alone has carried me through this unbelievably difficult process and has provided for me every step of the way. I stand before everyone I meet as a testimony to the power of faith in Jesus Christ and each moment I feel as though I want to go into a "book store" or look at a vdeo or magazine, the very next thought in my head is, "Who might see me do this?" or "How would this effect my ability to witness to those around me if needed?" The answer is always in the negative. I feel that there is no greater or stronger influence on ones life to remain faithful than that of God. While friends might leave you, jobs may fire you, and family may fail you, God never will. He never will because He cannot. He will never not love you because it is impossible for Him not to. The only reason we experience our imperfect form of love is due to our being made in His image. He may
not always approve of your actions, but He will always be there to welcome you back. I know that I can control myself and I know that I will overcome this struggle because I do not have to rely on myself or another flawed human being. If you do not know this assurance; if you do not know this strength, I strongly urge you to seek out Jesus Christ. Submit your life to His will, ask forgiveness for your sinful state and ask Him to become Lord of your life. the Bible says that "whosoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." I pray that you will consider this as you move forward through this dark valley and fight to find the light. you don't have to rely on your own strength. "Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might."