The Struggle of Sobriety

Recently I was phoned by an old friend; a friend I haven't seen or heard from in a long time. It was great to hear from him and speak with him. During our conversation it came out that he had become a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and had just celebrated his 2 year mark of sobriety. This is a wonderful thing and I am very proud of him. This got me to thinking, though about the nature of the struggle an addict goes through in remaining sober. You see, for me, August marked my 2 year date of "sobriety" as it were, and while I can't speak for anyone else, it is a struggle some days. I find that there are moments where an urge is so great I thank the Lord that so many safe guards have been placed over me. If it weren't for those self imposed precautions, I most likely would falter or fail. Experiencing these battles that, it seems, all recovering addicts go through has opened my eyes to what I believe to be an essential aspect of recovery. That aspect can be summed up with the question, "What are you staying sober for?"

I want you to consider that for a moment and I mean really consider it. Why are you fighting? Why are you striving to stay free of your addiction? Is it for yourself? Do you strive to overcome because of the pain or suffering it has caused you in the past? Do you fight for your wife or children? Maybe this addiction has caused unneccessary suffering for them as well. Do you stay sober for your job? Is losing yet another job too much to bear for you? It is important to identify the reason for you to "get clean" so to speak. Because, if you do not have a definitive reason for your sobriety it will make the hard times much harder and maybe even impossible.

There is, however, another side to this. What do you do if your reason for staying sober fails you? what happens if you are staying sober for your job, but through no fault of your own you lose your job? What if you are staying sober for your children, but they end up underachieving or growing up to be less than you expect? This may not resound with everyone that reads this, but I will stand by what I say. If you hold your reason for being to be a person or career or lifestyle, it will undoubtedly fail you at some point. People fail, that is the nature of being human and if you are not prepared for that, it can devastate your own feeeling of self worth and in turn could cause you to relapse.

So what is the point then? I suppose the point lies in my reason for remaining "clean". This may sound foolish to some of you, but my reason for not relapsing is not my family, my friends, or my job. Though all those things would be deserving reasons they are not mine. I remain clean for my God. I remain clean to preserve my witness for Jesus Christ. He alone has carried me through this unbelievably difficult process and has provided for me every step of the way. I stand before everyone I meet as a testimony to the power of faith in Jesus Christ and each moment I feel as though I want to go into a "book store" or look at a vdeo or magazine, the very next thought in my head is, "Who might see me do this?" or "How would this effect my ability to witness to those around me if needed?" The answer is always in the negative. I feel that there is no greater or stronger influence on ones life to remain faithful than that of God. While friends might leave you, jobs may fire you, and family may fail you, God never will. He never will because He cannot. He will never not love you because it is impossible for Him not to. The only reason we experience our imperfect form of love is due to our being made in His image. He may
not always approve of your actions, but He will always be there to welcome you back. I know that I can control myself and I know that I will overcome this struggle because I do not have to rely on myself or another flawed human being. If you do not know this assurance; if you do not know this strength, I strongly urge you to seek out Jesus Christ. Submit your life to His will, ask forgiveness for your sinful state and ask Him to become Lord of your life. the Bible says that "whosoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." I pray that you will consider this as you move forward through this dark valley and fight to find the light. you don't have to rely on your own strength. "Be strong in the Lord and the power of His might."

Pornography

It's been awhile since I've posted and it's mainly because I have been preoccupied with a lot of the political situations going on in Washingon D.C. Having read the health care bill and observing the decisions made by this administration it does concern me where our country is heading. Morally, we as a nation are becoming bankrupt. The president has decided that it is no longer necessary for the federal government to pursue obscenity law violators. This may seem to be a small matter, but we should consider the implications. Granted, the laws on the books basically keep the pornography industry barely respectable, outlawing, the use of animals, extreme violence and children in adult material, but if the federal government does not feel this is worth enforcing what does that say 1. about our culture and leadership, 2. to those engaged in selling smut? It is a very shameful fact of my life that I am acquainted with adult book stores and the things that go on there. I can tell you that the majority of pornography peddled to the average person does not violate federal law, but as I mentioned in my testimony, pornography infects a person much like a gateway drug pushes a user into heavier substances. The viewing of standard pornography can eventually become so mundane that it ceases to arouse the individual in the way that they desire. The next step is to find something "new". This does not mean that person will immediately jump to child pornography or bestiality, but generally the tastes will slowly, gradually become more fringe or extreme. One of the few things that keep the average sex addict or porn addict from pursuing adult material that objectifies minors is the knowledge of its illegality. It is that subconscious fear of potential ramifications that can keep men and women on the right side of the law. However, when the federal government publicly states not that these things are illegal but that they are not going to actively pursue violators it removes the one remaining safeguard built up in the subconscious defenses of the addict. Once a door like this is opened it can be extrememly difficult to close. In fact, once and addict in need of a better or riskier "fix" gets a hold of this new eperience it then becomes impossible to return to the old habits. I fear that this decision by our leadership, while seemingly freeing up unnecessary man hours pursuing frivolous harmless crimes, will in fact further denegrate our society. As I mentioned earlier regarding the adult bookstore dealers and visitors, it is common knowledge that there are certain places offer these kinds of "entertainment" to those who know how to ask. Granted not all bookstores engage in this illegal activity, but if there are two stores in one town, one most likely does. Ths country was founded on Christian ideals and principles. Many of which created a moral atmosphere in which the public could coexist. If we errode the boundaries of what is right and wrong in this country there will be nothing left to keep us afloat. I urge all who might read this to consider even the minor decisions made on all levels of government and the potential effect it will have on our nation.

God bless.